


Boyfriend Material

by Tabithian



Series: Light the Path [48]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:44:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8135920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabithian/pseuds/Tabithian
Summary: The thing is, Tim didn't mean it to be a challenge.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt: "I'm pretty sure a pick up line that bad is illegal." from Supercomicgirl.

The thing is, Tim didn't mean it to be a challenge.

He was just trying to keep Dick present, _with him_ , as he got him out of the bind he was in. Picking the cuffs he was in and sneaking him down into the sewers. The only safe route out for them with the cocktail of unknown drugs circulating through Dick's system making clumsy and uncoordinated.

“Hey, Tim,” Dick says, using what he probably thinks is a stealthy wiser. “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”

Tim almost stumbles, bringing them both down at how awful that one is. Does Dick spend his free time searching the internet for bad pickups lines to save for times like this, or is just some innate gift?

“You're the worst. I don't know why people think you're the 'charming, charismatic' one,” Tim mutters. “Seriously, Dick, _stop_.”

He doesn't, though. Just giggles – giggles – to himself and goes back to humming tunelessly thinking of the next pickup line to subject Tim to.

They're trudging through the sewers, no way to mistake the stench for anything else, and still somewhere in that drug-addled mind of his, Dick must be thinking to himself, “ _Ah, yes. This is clearly the perfect place to use my best godawful pickup lines on Tim._ ” because here he is, doing just that.

Dick must feel he's not getting through to Tim, because the next pickup line he uses is just. _Wow_.

“Is your name Google? Because you’re the answer to everything I’m searching for.”

Tim doesn't know what to do with that. No idea at all.

“Oracle's helping you, isn't she?”

Tim can't get a good look at Dick's face with the way it's mashed up against his, but he can feel the sheepish grin, can picture it in his mind, with no trouble.

“Little bit,” Dick says, so quiet Tim would have missed it if Dick wasn't clinging to him the way he is. “Did it work?”

There's no right answer for that, because, again, _wow_.

Dick's out of his mind, Barbara's being a horrible human being, and Tim is only human. It's not like Dick's likely to remember this, and really, he has himself to blame for this whole fiasco anyway.

“Dick, believe me when I say this,” Tim says, spark of relief in his chest as he spies daylight ahead. “You’re like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.”

Dick ducks his head, trying to muffle his laughter, and Tim can't help his own grin at the sound.

**Author's Note:**

> *hands*


End file.
